What if My Baby's Father Is in Liberia
By Mae Azango
"Some of these young boys are from broken homes. Sometimes it is peer force per unit area that causes many of the teen fathers to deny pregnancies." But there are besides other factors. – Ali Sylla, Founder and Executive Manager of the Center for Counseling and Restorative Dialogue in Monrovia.
Nathan became a immature dad at the historic period of fifteen, but the secondary school senior does not have to worry near providing for the child. He denied the pregnancy from the start, when his 16-year-old girlfriend said he was responsible.
"Later on ii months, she came to me and said she was significant for me, so I brainstorm to go vexed and said it was not for me," says Nathan, now nineteen, who asked that his concluding proper name non be used for this story.
When his mother asked him if he knew the large-bellied girl who brought her parents and the police to their house, he says he told his mother that he knew the girl but denied getting her pregnant.
Nathan lives in the Duport Road neighborhood of Monrovia. He is one of thousands of boys in Liberia who get girls pregnant and turn down to accept responsibility each year. They leave immature expectant mothers and their families to deport the burden by themselves.
Almost one in three Liberian girls aged 15-nineteen has already begun kid bearing, according to the latest Ministry of Wellness figures. However, there is no statistic from the ministry as to how many of our state's teenage boys are fathers or reject pregnancies.
"My pa did not believe I could exercise something similar that, because he never saw me with a girlfriend before. My pa starting making threatening remarks that he was going to put me out of the house and was going to accept his mitt from my school business if I impregnate any girl. So I deny the pregnancy when he asked." -Nathan, Teen dad
Some teen boys deny pregnancies because of financial problems, says Ali Sylla, founder and executive director of the Center for Counseling and Restorative Dialogue in Monrovia. But there are also other factors.
"Some of these young boys are from broken homes," says Sylla. "Sometimes information technology is peer pressure that causes many of the teen fathers to deny pregnancies."
In other instances, parental pressure plays a role, with parents threatening to throw out a son who gets a daughter pregnant. Nathan says fear of his male parent's retribution pushed him to prevarication and dismiss the pregnancy.
"My pa did non believe I could do something like that, because he never saw me with a girlfriend before," says Nathan.
"My pa starting making threatening remarks that he was going to put me out of the house and was going to accept his hand from my school business if I impregnate any girl. And so I deny the pregnancy when he asked."
Some youths who deny pregnancies never merits the child due to shame, while others realize their mistakes and eventually come around to admit the child.
The story worked out differently in Nathan'due south case. Later pressure from the daughter's family, Nathan's parents, who live in Harbel Firestone, took the child in without telling Nathan.
"One fourth dimension when I went for holiday in Harbel, I saw a baby sitting on the floor in my people's house and asked whose baby was it," Nathan says.
"When my small sister said that it was my infant, I got vexed and I slapped her. My pa told me that I should non beat my sister because the baby was my problem I had caused."
Teen pregnancies are a big factor in the loftier rate of primary and secondary school dropouts of boys and girls in Liberia, according to experts we talked to at the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare.
Teen fathers every bit well every bit mothers are oftentimes forced to get out school to provide and intendance for their babies.
This educational setback is a major cause of the poverty in our country, which has one of the highest poverty rates in the earth.
Young moms and dads oftentimes exercise non attain their goals in life due to the financial pressures of raising children.
Many of these youths usually settle for depression-wage jobs as unskilled workers and lose their opportunity at a brighter time to come.
While carefree youths are playing basketball game on Monrovia'due south King Sao Bosso Street and having fun, Varlee Kromah, xviii, is thinking about what his baby is going to swallow.
As a teen dad, Varlee no longer spends his money foolishly; instead, he must think about the wellbeing of his child.
Varlee, a secondary schoolhouse graduate who lives in the Clara Town community of Monrovia, at present has a 4-month-old infant boy, Varlee Kromah Jr., that he had past Princess Toe, 16, who was forced to drop out of school.
"It took me by surprise," Varlee says. "I almost denied the pregnancy and told her to become away, but my parents told me I could not do that considering they used to encounter the girl in my yard. I would have denied the pregnancy if not for my parents."
Unlike Nathan, Varlee is 1 of a handful of teen fathers that take responsibility for a pregnancy. He tries to provide for the baby by selling auction appurtenances on the street to earn a few Liberian dollars. He too volunteers doing community outreach for Sylla's youth heart in exchange for an occasional handout.
Even though Varlee accustomed the pregnancy, he nonetheless gets pressure from his friends to shrug the responsibility and, at times, wishes he was not a dad.
"Sometimes, I regret having this baby considering I no longer do anything for myself," says Varlee.
"Like for this past Christmas flavor, I had to cater to the child and the mother and, equally a issue, I had zip left for me."
"My friends would tell me: 'My homo, this kind of difficult time. When y'all are not doing annihilation, where yous would get money from to support a baby? You amend say it is not for you lot."
Despite fearing such hardship, many of Republic of liberia's youths reject to use condoms to prevent pregnancies or HIV/AIDS. Varlee is no exception.
"I cannot get the feelings when I use condoms; I like mankind to flesh," Varlee says. "I told my son'southward female parent to take family planning, but she said she does not like it. And I myself do non like using condoms." Nathan says his girlfriend was the one who refused condoms.
"Whenever we want to have sex and I have out my condom from my drawer, my girl used to tell me that she ain't similar it, and then I never use condoms," says Nathan.
Although family planning services are readily available in urban Monrovia, many youths are still engaging in dangerous sex, says Bendu Tulay, interim deputy government minister of social welfare. Almost reject birth command out of ignorance.
"Youths won't have family planning because they always look at the negative side of it," says Tulay.
"They take their incorrect perception that family planning would make them infertile. Near people believe that, when you are taking family planning, you'll non take a infant once again. That is false. So we need to create more awareness."
However creating awareness is difficult when family planning facilities in rural Liberia are not accessible due to bad route conditions.
Ali Sylla, 37, now runs mentoring and counseling programs for local youths and says it is of import to promote an open up dialogue.
He speaks from personal feel because he as well suffered the effects of being a immature male parent when he was 17.
"Based on my groundwork, where a child is to be seen and non heard, I could not talk over with my parents that a girl was pregnant from me," says Sylla. He says he remembers having many anxieties at that young age. "What did I know about parenting? I but wanted to play basketball," says Sylla.
Sylla says he regrets non being around when his girl Vanessa was growing up. Now his kid isn't carrying his name only the last proper name of her stepfather. Nathan, meanwhile, says he calls on his friends who are in the habit of denying pregnancies to stop because nobody knows the future of a child.
"That child could exist a president or md tomorrow," says Nathan.
Merely Nathan himself has not fully accepted nor come clean with his own daughter. She is existence raised by Nathan'south parents in his hometown of Harbel Firestone. The child knows him merely as her older blood brother, not her begetter. Nathan himself does non know the futurity of his human relationship with the kid.
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Mae Azango is a fellow of New Narratives, a project supporting independent media in Africa."https://newnarratives.org"
Source: https://newnarratives.org/featured/denying-post-war-liberias-babies-teen-fathers-speak/
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